If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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