When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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