Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize