Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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