i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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