In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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