he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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