The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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