Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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