This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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