i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize