You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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