So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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