She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize