Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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