i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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