When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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