You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize