do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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