Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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