my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize