Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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