Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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