i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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