and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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