just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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