Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need help removing her.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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