we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize