Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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