I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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