He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize