We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
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Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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