is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
as a side note pls kill me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I wear drunk well.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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