just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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