I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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