there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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