Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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