it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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