She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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