Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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