so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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