I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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