is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
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YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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