Jerry, you need to find god
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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