there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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