LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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