Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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