Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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