just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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