Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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